Why I do what I do

I was 24 when someone attempted to rape and murder me. (I know, I know, it is intense! But, I am okay and ready to talk about it.) For the longest time, I carried this within me. Recently, in one of my classes, we were asked to reflect on what brought us to the mental health program.

When I decided to return to school at 29, many questioned, criticised, and even shamed my decision. "This is your time to settle down", they said. When my peers were getting married, and having babies, I was migrating across the seven seas, with a massive student loan on my shoulders, to begin a life in a foreign country.

I managed to seek legal justice. The perpetrator was imprisoned for ten years. They said, "We won the case". But, for some reason, it did not make me feel better. HOW was this winning exactly? How can a stranger violate me, assault me, wound my body and soul for a lifetime, and think that was okay?

On one of my visits to the court, a girl, about 15, was sitting next to me. She had bruises on her face the way I did. I asked her what happened. She was raped. The horror that I could escape only out of sheer luck, had happened to her. It agitates me even today to think that there are so many tiny girls, helpless, without much agency in their lives, dealing with such a horrendous trauma on their own, keeping it buried inside them, or even worse, ending their lives!

What can I do? - This question irked me over and over again. I joined Teach for India to sensitise my kids to the violence against women and support them with their abuse and trauma. Post fellowship, I decided to apply to grad school to increase my reach as a mental health professional.

It's a common perception that mental healthcare is a privilege and going to therapy is for "rich" people. But, people are dying because of their mental health. They are suffering in silence because their suffering isn't visible. It's not just about "self-love", "self-esteem", and all that Instagram "woke-ness". It's much more fundamental than that. Sometimes it is just about survival.

I work for that girl who was raped. I work for all girls who were abused. But, above all, I work for that 24-year-old Shraddha sitting outside the court, hiding her face, because something unspeakable had happened to her.

I love to dance and have fun. I win every time I choose joy.